A poem written in anger at a friend who hurt me.
you want a poem?
i'll give you a fucking poem.
a poem with no rhythm unless it's spoken aloud
--no
SCREAMED and slammed against the wall to make it appropriate for my mood
slam poetry
a slammed poem
i lack the strength to slam it hard enough
for regardless of my strengths
I. Am. Weak.
powerless.
i sent you a slammed poem on that cd that i put so much work into
you made fun of the cd
and made no comment on the track
I. Am. Weak.
powerless to stop myself from being myself from being so powerless
and i am strong
Stronger than you.
if only i had your strength.
the strength to deny who i am, what i want, how i act, what i feel
the strength to hold it in
to lie to the world
I don't.
anyhow, what you don't say is always easier to read than what you do
those are my words
i do not give you permission to say them to someone else
i go on about Truth
Truth is, no one will ever truly want me
Truth is, anyone i'm unfortunate enough to fall for gets bored of fucking with my head before long
Truth is, i scare the hell out of everyone when they realize i'm really like this
Truth is, i will always be alone
i will never feel at home
i will spend my life Alone
i am in a mood
because of what you did
to avoid putting me in a mood
because i'm at work and not in your arms
because you will never hold me as i fall asleep
because where i am sitting now i am not allowed to cry
i am in a mood
would i rather be used than alone?
i suppose i think so
i'm a walking contradiction Because
THAT is what a human being is
when you strip away the bullshit
you can make me smile without even trying
you have to work hard to make me frown
Do you know how to slam a poem?
you don't write it on flowered paper sprayed with perfume
you don't seal it with a kiss
you don't whisper it into your lover's ear
you scream it
SCREAM IT
at whoever is there
at the audience
at your family
at the mirror
at a Brick Wall
you fluctuate the volume of your voice
you make dramatic pauses and take deeper breaths than you should
you may even hyperventilate
Words Tumble Forth With Endless Passionate Emotion And
there is rarely a rhyme scheme
you asked me for my voice
for the silence less harsh
wouldn't you prefer silence to the screaming nonsense in my head?
I haven't written a poem in years.
a pretty love poem for her, not for me, because i'm not close enough to fuck
A B A B A B A B, in iambic hexameter
A A B B C C D D, or iambic pentameter
there's plenty of templates for lines that other people have written
ending in rhyming words
a waltz or a march or some other musical bullshit
this shell has seen changes
gone through different phases
has been certain then lost
is unsure of the cost of it all
i can rhyme
there's no point
it's not nice to rip apart and make fun of everything i worked so hard to send you
it's not nice to immediately brag about the poem you are writing for another woman
it's not nice to ask my opinion while ignoring my question about what it's for
it's not nice to tell me my opinion counts for nothing because i'm... Biased.
i said what i said, i've meant every word
i don't know what to do
what to say
what to think
what to believe
what's the truth
I've never lied to you. I never will.
do i scare you because i mean what i say?
i'm in a mood
it will pass
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Thursday, August 3, 2006
Brief Satire
A short satirical rant written out of boredom at work one day during a bout of terrible weather.
I'd very much like to sleep. I'm sure when I get home tonight I still won't be able to sleep. There'll be more thunderstorms, and then more heat, and then more thunderstorms... If there's a God, she's PISSED.
It's because of the gays of course. Too many of them walking around going unsmitten. All of the decent heterosexuals of the world will just have to suffer the punishment for not tying all the gays to fences and beating them to death. They're all desperately trying to make up for it now, of course, outlawing gay marriage and protesting at soldier's funerals, but it's a day late and a dollar short. There's still living, breathing homosexuals walking this earth, falling in love with each other and forming happy families, and that just plain gives God the willies.
Certainly couldn't have anything to do with the fact that we're pumping a thousand times more CO2 into the air than the plant life can handle, and then raizing the rainforest to the ground just in case they might have had a chance. Couldn't possibly the pollution from burning fossil fuels. After all, God created the earth for our use - he most certainly would not have designed it so that we could upset the natural balance of things.
After all, he dropped us on earth and said "have a good time!" He taught Adam how to kill things, and Eve how to cook and clean and mind the children and keep her body hidden, and when we finished hunting all the dinosaurs, he just created new animals for us to kill. In fact, we really should be finishing off the rest of those endangered species so that we can see what new animals God will make for us next!
Surely, if the rest of the women in the world are covered up and kept quietly in the home with the kids, and the rest of the gays are violently beaten to death with rocks or shot down with sub-machine guns, God will be so proud that he'll provide us with all the coal we could ever want to burn for energy.
Come to think of it, if we could build some sort of camp to send all the gays to, it would be much easier to dispose of them all at once. We could even tell them it was for their own good to live together in one community rather than breathing the same air as the heterosexuals, you know, make them feel comfortable with the idea. Then, once they get there, we could shoot them all or even just gas them, probably cheaper that way. Their belongings would become property of the state, of course. And once they were all disposed of, there would never be another homosexual again, since they couldn't pass their nasty gay-germs on. Not to mention that it would be the end of AIDS and meth use.
Everyone would have to be careful to cover their faces with masks, so they didn't inhale any of the germs. The last thing we would need is another outbreak of Gay.
I'd very much like to sleep. I'm sure when I get home tonight I still won't be able to sleep. There'll be more thunderstorms, and then more heat, and then more thunderstorms... If there's a God, she's PISSED.
It's because of the gays of course. Too many of them walking around going unsmitten. All of the decent heterosexuals of the world will just have to suffer the punishment for not tying all the gays to fences and beating them to death. They're all desperately trying to make up for it now, of course, outlawing gay marriage and protesting at soldier's funerals, but it's a day late and a dollar short. There's still living, breathing homosexuals walking this earth, falling in love with each other and forming happy families, and that just plain gives God the willies.
Certainly couldn't have anything to do with the fact that we're pumping a thousand times more CO2 into the air than the plant life can handle, and then raizing the rainforest to the ground just in case they might have had a chance. Couldn't possibly the pollution from burning fossil fuels. After all, God created the earth for our use - he most certainly would not have designed it so that we could upset the natural balance of things.
After all, he dropped us on earth and said "have a good time!" He taught Adam how to kill things, and Eve how to cook and clean and mind the children and keep her body hidden, and when we finished hunting all the dinosaurs, he just created new animals for us to kill. In fact, we really should be finishing off the rest of those endangered species so that we can see what new animals God will make for us next!
Surely, if the rest of the women in the world are covered up and kept quietly in the home with the kids, and the rest of the gays are violently beaten to death with rocks or shot down with sub-machine guns, God will be so proud that he'll provide us with all the coal we could ever want to burn for energy.
Come to think of it, if we could build some sort of camp to send all the gays to, it would be much easier to dispose of them all at once. We could even tell them it was for their own good to live together in one community rather than breathing the same air as the heterosexuals, you know, make them feel comfortable with the idea. Then, once they get there, we could shoot them all or even just gas them, probably cheaper that way. Their belongings would become property of the state, of course. And once they were all disposed of, there would never be another homosexual again, since they couldn't pass their nasty gay-germs on. Not to mention that it would be the end of AIDS and meth use.
Everyone would have to be careful to cover their faces with masks, so they didn't inhale any of the germs. The last thing we would need is another outbreak of Gay.
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